I Don't Want To RUN!

I woke up today completely against going for the "assigned" 4 mile run. Sure, the St.Lawrence River was outside my window. But I had a headache and just wanted to be lazy. I thought I could 'fly under the radar' in front of my family and just suppress the guilt inside UNTIL my husband uttered the words... "No run today?"

Those three horrible wonderful words were exactly what my body didn't want to hear and what my mind needed to. I was caught in a crossfire of emotions.

Why should I run today?
1. My fellow 13's were doing 4 miles today.
2. I had to cut my workout short yesterday due to bodily functions.
3. The forecast predicted showers the rest of the day (and tomorrow) and if I  wanted to take advantage of the beautiful sun, I needed to do it then!
4. GUILT

There were tons more and in order to just shut them off from circling throughout my brain, I knew I needed to start getting ready. "I don't want to run" I kept saying to myself.... which wasn't the best way to prep and start off the workout. I felt defeated even before I started. And I was the one to blame!

I managed to pull things together and as I headed out the door, I gave one last kiss my little Elijah James and even made him say "Have a good run Mommy" to me. I was banking on that being the last push to confirm to my body that THIS RUN IS HAPPENING!

His words hit me, even if they were forced, and I focused on them a lot during that 56 minute run. Today is his third birthday and part of the main reason I began to "learn to run" was because of my family. And today, FAMILY was the driving force that got me through.... beginning to end.

Happy Birthday Elijah! What moves me today? YOU... and the desire to spend countless birthdays with you and your sister.

I can't say that was the best run, nor was it pretty, but it was done.... and I'll take it as a win!

Shoreline 5K

37:14 with an average 12:01 per mile was my finishing result at this past weekend's Shoreline 5k at Hamlin Beach State Park. It felt amazing! My kids, husband, brother and his girlfriend created such a motivating cheering crowd. The support they gave, made me feel so special and determined to give it my all!

It was a beautiful morning. The race route was flat and the last mile was along side Lake Ontario. It was so pretty.

I felt confident about this race, especially since I pushed myself during last week's workouts. (Well, Pina did in all fairness!)  I was thrilled that my husband could see me start and finish since this was the first time we were not both competing on the same day.

It's still crazy for me to believe at times that I am still doing this. Like this is NOT a dream or some casual thing that I decided to do but then lost interest with.

I am still running. Each night before a homework run with Pina, I set the alarm for that scary 5:45 a.m. wake up reminder that confirms my "Runner" status. I never have the feeling of wanting to get out of bed... but I do.

Maybe it's because I know Pina is waiting for me at the end of my driveway. Maybe it's because I think that if I don't get out of bed, the running switch in my body will turn off forever. Maybe it's because the way my husband looks at me after I complete a run gives me so much more motivation, to one day, be at his level.

What moved me today? The feeling I had after the race on Saturday. I wanted to stay in bed and avoid the 3 mile workout this morning, but knew in order to feel what I felt on Saturday again, I had to put in the work TODAY!

I'm not sure who is reading these blog posts, but if you are, I sincerely encourage you to do something you thought you never could. Weather it's learning to run, create a healthier lifestyle or heck, knitting a beautiful quilt... Whatever it is, go and DO it! Proving to yourself that you can actually achieve it is so EMPOWERING!
I wish you the best. Oh, and thanks for reading, too!

22:32

On Wednesday, the NoBo Coaches "surprised" us with a Time Trial.  This was very much like what we did the first workout of the season to get placed  in our pace groups.  I'm not sure if it was a good surprise or not, but at that moment I really had no choice. I had so much on my mind, and even though I wasn't in the mood to run 2 miles as fast as I could, I welcomed the distractions in my brain to help hide the sweat and pain that was about to come my way.

Two miles, as if you were running a race with no talking.  I positioned myself in the back of the pack this time, so I wouldn't feel like I was in anyone's way as they passed by.  I was bummed that I didn't have my watch with me and really felt like I had no way to gauge my progress or pace.  It was a bit intimidating, but soon that feeling escaped my mind after a woman from the 13:00 pace group said "hi Divina" as she passed by.

"Hi Fawn.  I'm so happy to see you!" I exclaimed and instantly my mood had changed! AHA... that was my "watch"... my pace leader... my prize, I thought to myself!

Fawn and I have ran together during Wednesday workouts, and she was always a few steps ahead of me.  If I could keep up with her, then I knew I would be in good shape.  And that's what I did.  I stayed a little behind her, 16 seconds exactly.  I finished in 22:32 minutes, 1:13 FASTER than I did a month ago.  It didn't feel easier, but the feeling afterwards was so rewarding!  

Today's NoBo workout was 3 miles, just like yesterday's homework was.  3 miles at a 13:00 minute pace is going really well.  My breathing is pretty much in control the whole way, unless it's super hot out.  But even that's going pretty good too.  Slowly I can feel my body getting used to the heat with each run.

I feel like I'm transitioning again, which is truly an awesome experience.  I'm not scared of 3 miles, or the heat as much, OR for what is coming next.  I have a new record to beat at the next Time Trial and more goals to follow. I'm so ready for this!!! Bring it!

My Reward

Saturday morning's No Boundaries workout was brought to you by the most beautiful place I am able to call my second home of the summer
What moves me today? The St Lawrence River!

The 2-mile loop outside Lazy Acres was where I spent this morning after forcing my butt out of bed. I had every intention of doing it yesterday, but the excuses in my brain won.  "I'm tired & Friday's are my rest days" seemed fair enough to me to keep my body from moving.
Not today! All day yesterday I wish I had felt the satisfying feeling of "I ran today". I thought about it when I was on the boat and drinking my new favorite Bud Light strawberry margaritas. I thought about it as I eagerly grabbed the second helpings of macaroni salad. Even by breakfast, I felt guilty I didn't make it out for a run.

Today, I wanted to feel that I earned the right to indulge. I wanted to feel that inner satisfaction and joy I get from running. Right now, I feel great and so glad I got my butt in gear this morning! Four miles. In my favorite place. Done.

The first loop went by really fast. It was pretty crazy. The best part was the recovery. A slight down hill, cool breeze and the River, in all it's beauty, straight ahead. Simply stunning!

As I passed our cozy little cottage the first time, I could see my father in law sitting in the sun porch enjoying his cup of coffee. "That will be ME very soon. All I need is one more lap"... I thought to myself.

Coffee, the beautiful recovery scene and the fact that I promised Pina a picture of my watch time is what drove me through the next two miles. They seemed so much longer than the first two, but I knew the ending would be worth it.. AND... the rest of the day to follow.

So here, as I sit on this beautiful boat, with great family and friends, I feel a bit more satisfied. Knowing that the run this morning helped "ground" me for the day. It was the first time in a while I ran by myself, connected to my own thoughts. I needed that. It was great!

I love running here. And even though it was just my second time, I know there will be countless times in the future.
Heck, maybe in the near future I will add another lap, creating 6 miles as the goal. When I am ready to I do it, I can't think of a better place!