Pressing Rewind

I wonder what it would be like if I had the chance to sit and watch myself, my life, over the past five months.  I wonder if there would have been a key moment when I noticed a drastic change.  Where I woke up one day and suddenly I was different.

Sure, I cut my hair a little shorter, dyed it darker, but that's not what I'm getting at. 

Yes, I started a running program in February and my schedule changed.  Yes, I started to refrain myself from that Friday night glass of wine (or two) so I could peel my body (a productive body) out of bed Saturday morning by 7:00am  (if not sooner).  Yes, I drudged through successful and sometimes unsuccessful 5K homework sessions in the SNOW and COLD. I understand that through all those monotonous activities, something was brewing.  Something I didn't realize nor expect.  If I could sit next to that same person who was at 5K NoBo Orientation in February, I don't think I'd recognize her. Maybe from the outside, sure... but not on the inside.

I certainly feel different today and I am making choices I NEVER thought I would. But when did it happen? 

I woke up today excited to run in the sun (again) and it made me feel happy the whole day through. It was like I wanted to wear a pin that said "I ran today" so everyone knew it, and maybe they'd go out and run and feel the same way too.  Heck, maybe I'm on to something and if given the chance to be a NoBo mentor I can incorporate an "I ran today" pin to the participants.  That could be cool... right?  I could ask them "did you wear your pin proud, today?" to encourage them to do their homework!

SEE!  This is what I'm talking about.  A full on tangent, inside a blog post about something so random, so far from anything I used to be or think about. 

I'm different, but I'm so happy.  I think I feel more self conscious about how excited I am after a run rather than how I run now.  I just want to rejoice after a workout and tell everyone, even though I know I will get the crazy looks from people. I'm pretty sure It's not the "ever so talked about runner's high", but more of a sense of pride and accomplishment.  I feel like I have to reiterate the fact that I'm not looking for "congratulations" or that I'm trying to rub it in to anyone who make take offense.  It' just pure and innocent happiness I want to share with anyone who wants to feel the same thing!
And, don't get me wrong.  It's not like I was unhappy before.  It's just that running has given me so much that I NEVER expected in such a short amount of time.  It's given me something I never knew I wanted!  I don't know how to describe it, and maybe that's why I wish I could go back to see that turning point.

But, is it really that important?  

NO, I guess not.  All that is important is that it's happening... even without the rewind button!